The Obituary of the Cavalry

Welcome back after a long break! I know you all have been waiting anxiously for my new post. Heck, you all have probably been hitting the reset button every two seconds! Well, now I'm posting again, you lucky devils. Today, I am going to look at the death of one of history's oldest fighting forces: the cavalry.

Since man domesticated horses, he has used them in warfare. Mounted soldiers were effective at scouting ahead of an army, and they added speed and power to the front of any assault. This trend remained true until this day in 1914.

Let's travel to the Battle of Haelen in Belgium, August 12, 1914. The German Imperial Army had entered Belgium as a means of flanking French defenses at the beginning of World War I. For their part, the Belgians wouldn't go down without a fight. They vowed to protect their country from the silly hatted barbarians who didn't even appreciate the quality of a Belgian Whit Beer. The Germans, for their part, saw the invasion of Belgium as a great opportunity. They could avoid the French Army, and conquer an inferior race of people who put oranges in their beer.

"Belgium, your beer has not only softened your bodies, it has softened your brains!"

As we all know, don't get between Europeans and their beer. Especially this guy:

This guy- Kaiser Wilhelm

Leading up to August 12, the German invasion had gone well. They had conquered most of Belgium, and fought hard against the Belgian defenses. On the 12, however, they reached the fortified city of Haelen. The Belgian defenders vowed to protect the city at all costs. Georg von der Marwitz not only holds the distinction of having the most stereotypical German name in the history of German names, but also being the German commander at the battle. He knew that if he left Haelen in the back of his advance, the Belgians could wreak havoc on his supply lines. Opposing him was Leon de Witte, leading a contingent of over 2000 dismounted cavalry and, I kid you not, about 500 soldiers mounted on bicycles. He vowed to hold the city, just as von der Marwitz vowed to take the city. On the 11, the Germans advanced, and easily brushed through the Belgian defenses east of the city, pushing the defenders west of town. In the face of certain victory, von der Marwitz looked to the history books for a sure fire strategy to win the battle: a full frontal cavalry charge. It had worked almost every time in the past, and he was sure it would at Haelen.

But von der Marwitz forgot one crucial fact- he was fighting during World War I. Gone were the days of weak, single fire rifles. The Belgians had strong fire power, with both machine guns and repeating rifles. Despite multiple German cavalry assaults, the Belgian defenses never waffled (chuckle, chuckle). By the end of the 12, von der Marwitz pulled his men back to east of Haelen.

"Drat the luck!"

In the end, Haelen did little to change Belgium's cause. They were overrun in the next few days, and their country was devastated by war. But Leon de Witte and his cyclists proved one thing by repelling the Germans: they showed that the age of mounted cavalry was over forever.

"Um, if I survive this, remind me to punch von der whatshisname in the face."

Digging through historical records, I came across this obituary to the cavalry. It looks to be the original draft! How fun! Dated August 13, 1914, it has been completely forgotten-until now. Enjoy!

August 12, 1914

Cavalry, Mounted

Age not provided

The mounted cavalry went violently peacefully into the afterlife yesterday near Haelen, Belgium. It is survived by its longtime friends, the infantry and artillery. Through its life, it had many highs. Who can forget Kadesh, where Ramses the Great led his cavalry into the Hittite defenses, winning the battle for his kingdom? Or when Alexander, Hannibal, and Cesar utilized mounted troops to win great victories. In every major battle in every major campaign, mounted cavalry was there, often getting destroyed by archers, spearmen, artillery, or a kid with a pop gun affecting the outcome of the fighting. Then there were the lows. Oh the horrible, frequent rare lows. Little Big Horn, where Custer and his men were cut to pieces by a superior force. Balaclava, where the famous Light Brigade were sent to their deaths by a stupid British general who made a terrible mistake. But then again, are British generals even allowed to be competent? No matter the odds, the cavalry fought bravely and valiantly. Its demise had been coming for a long time. At Gettysburg, the cavalry was only effective when they were dismounted. In the Spanish American war, Roosevelt and his Rough Riders charged San Juan Hill on foot. Advancement in weaponry made mounted warfare irrelevant. I mean, seriously, the Germans lost to soldiers mounted on flipping bicycles. Although this marks the end of an era, remember it was a stupid concept to begin with when one door closes, another door opens. What will take the horse's place? We'll have to see. But let's all remember the mounted cavalry, and all it contributed to war.

In lieu of flowers, please send bandages. I think those silly Germans are going to need them.

Well there you have it. The original obituary of the mounted cavalry. Don't feel too bad though. The cavalry would return with a vengeance. Gone were horses, but they were replaced by helicopters and tanks.

"Yeah, I'm badass"

The mounted cavalry died 99 years ago today. But the cavalry is alive and well. Just without the horses.

World War I Begins

Today, I'm going to look at what is, in my opinion, the most crucial event in human history. No, it is not World War II.

Argh!

That event is the original World War, World War I!

"Wunderbar!"

As any history savant will tell you, yesterday was the 99th anniversary of the start of the "Great War". What caused this monumental conflict? Let's take a look.

Let's set the scene: Europe in the Spring of 1914. It was, to put it bluntly, a total powder keg.

Europe 1914

Also Europe 1914

Great Britain, France, Germany, Austria-Hungary, and Russia were the main players in Europe. They all had militaries that were way too big, and they all hated each other.

Which brings me to my next point. The MAIN causes of World War I:

M-Miltarism(very big militaries, itching to fight)

A-Alliances(see below)

I-Imperialism (each country wanted to establish colonies in Africa and Asia)

N-Nationalsim(Each country thought they were way cooler than the others)

So let's explore the alliances aspect, because that was the major driving force behind the escalation of the war. In Spring, 1914 Germany and Austria-Hungary were allies. Russia was in an alliance with Serbia, a small country who despised and was despised by Austria-Hungary. France and Russia were allies, and France and Britain were allies. Then there was Italy. They did what possibly only Italy can do. They made alliances with both sides!

If Italy played Big Brother, it would be the ultimate "floater"

While the Italians were firmly in an alliance with Germany and Austria-Hungary, forming the "Triple Alliance", it also had a working relationship with Britain, France, and Russia, aka the "Triple Entente". The other players in Europe didn't share Italy's diplomacy. They straight up hated each other. And they were all ready to use their military power at the drop of a hat. No, seriously. Kaiser Wilhelm II (Germany's leader) once dropped his hat, and Germany almost invaded Lichtenstein!

Don't mess with the Kaiser's hat!

Everyone knew that war was looming in Europe. It was only a matter of time before something set off continental conflict. That event finally occurred on June, 28 1914 in Sarajevo, Bosnia (then part of Austria-Hungary). It was on that day that Serbian nationalist Gavrilo Princip assassinated the Austrio-Hungarian Archduke Franz Ferdinand, the heir to the throne, while the archduke was on an official visit to the Balkan state.

Gavrilo Princip. &*^$#@#

So unfortunately, the archduke was killed. And Austria-Hungary was not happy. Enraged, they delivered an ultimatum to the Serbian government. The requests were so severe (i.e. virtual annexation of Serbia), that the Serbians would never have accepted. Even if they had, Austria-Hungary might have declared war anyway out of a fit of anger. Bottom line, they hated each other so much they were just looking for an excuse to start a fight. Austira-Hungary gave Serbia until the 28th of July to agree to the terms, and when Serbia only agreed to 8 of the 10, Austria-Hungary declared war on Serbia.

In order to defend their ally, Russia declared war on Austria-Hungary. In order to defend Austria-Hungary, Germany declared war on Russia. France then decided to join the fray, and declared war on both Germany and Austria-Hungary, who in turn declared war on France.

When Germany attempted to attack France, they went through Belgium in order to avoid French defenses, which sparked the anger of Britain, who decided to defend their French allies and neutral Belgium by declaring war on Germany.

A good example of WWI propaganda

Italy, being Italy, decided not to join in on either side. They wanted to join the winning side, so they stayed back a little bit and let the war play out. A little while later, the Ottoman Empire joined the war on the side of Germany and Austria-Hungary, partially because France, Russia, and Great Britain preferred recliners.

Yeah, that joke was awesome. But World War I was not. It caused millions of lives, and we are still living with the unresolved consequences of the War. I'm not going to go further into the war at this time. That is for another day. But today, I showed you how complex alliances led to the war barreling out of control, eventually becoming the most catastrophic event in human history. It may be a forgotten war, but it never should be. We must all always remember the "Great War".

P.S.: Where was the US? They joined in 1917. But that's for another post.

P.P.S.: Bulgaria also joined Germany and co., but who really cares about Bulgaria?

Great Meetings Throughout History

History is often told in blood. When analyzing crucial moments in the human journey, people often jump to the conclusion that the wars and battles that mark history are the most important events in any given point in time. World War I is such an event.

"Good show, chaps! Now, no one make any unnecessary movements, like turning, sitting, or jumping. Or, um, breathing"

Perhaps no event in human history has defined the future quite like the Great War. At the war's conclusion, millions of soldiers and civilians had died, empires had tumbled, and Europe was left to clean up from the most devastating war it had suffered in a good ten, maybe eleven years.

However, events like World War I needn't be the only moments that garner remembrance in history. There were plenty of other important moments in the past that were not marked with blood, but instead by cooperation. Throughout history, there have been many important meetings between two or more prominent figures; not with the purpose of fighting, but with the purpose of cooperation. Today is the anniversary of such a meeting: The Guayaquil Conference.

Taking place July 26, 1822, the Guayaquil Conference was a meeting between two of South America's all time greatest men, Simon Bolivar and Jose de San Martin.

"Listen, Jose. It's not that I think the location you chose for the meeting is stupid per say. It's just that we're standing in the middle of a (explicative) field!

Often, important moments come from diplomacy. Wars were started and ended when important people met. So today, in honor of the Guayaquil Conference, I will look at some of history's greatest meetings.

The Guayaquil Conference:

As previously mentioned, this historic meeting took place on July 26th, 1822 in the city of Guayaquil, Ecuador. The main players were the renown libertadores Simon Bolivar and Jose de San Martin, and the two discussed the future of South America. While both men had high hopes entering the conference, they were unable to reach any agreements, as each had very different ideas on how to run the continent and were unwilling to compromise. In the end, both left Guayaquil without solving any problems. In essence, Bolivar and San Martin would make great US Congressmen.

Attila the Hun and Pope Leo I:



 Taking place in 452, this was an attempt by the pontiff to convince Attila not to sack Rome. In the end, the pope was successful; he paid Attila in gold and save the Eternal City from destruction. For his efforts, Pope Leo is considered a saint by the Roman Catholic Church. For his efforts, Attila became wealthier than the current US government. But come to think of it, the same could be said of a five year old girl with a lemonade stand.

Let's not tell the government Attila exists. If they find out, they'll probably try to borrow obscene amounts of money from him!

Appomattox Court House:

Occurring April 9, 1865, this meeting marked the end of the American Civil War in Virginia with the Union being victorious. It ended the bloodshed, and left millions on both sides of the Mason-Dixon relieved that the war was over. And our little Billy Yank got his last laugh.

"Hussah!"

"Humph. I think he cheated!"

King Henry VIII:

This was something our over-weight monarch indulged in quite often; usually on a daily basis! He liked it broiled, cooked, heck sometimes even raw..........oh wait. Sorry Henry. Different kind of meat.

"Oh, fiddle-faddle! A pox upon you!"

Neville Chamberlain and Adolf Hitler:

Taking place September, 1939 in Munich, this is one of the most important meetings in history. In addition to featuring a weasel and a snake in their natural habitats, this meeting set the ground work for World War II. Chamberlain agreed to let Hitler take part of Czechoslovakia in hopes that the new land would appease the demented dictator. Um, yeah. I wonder how that worked out. Let's play the new hit game: Are you Smarter then Neville Chamberlain? Let's meet today's contestant!

Awesome! Today, we have little Katie all the way from North Dakota! Yay! Are you ready for your question? True or false: it is a smart idea to allow Adolf Hitler to take part of Czechoslovakia?

"That's easy! False!"

Yay! Congrats! You are officially smarter than Neville Chamberlain! Your prize is you get to see what his decision at this meeting caused!

The Invasion of Poland! This is why dictators should never be bargained with. It leads to things like the invasion of Poland. And they have a hard enough time being Poland! Don't pile it on! So yeah, I think this meeting makes the Guayaquil conference seem pretty successful!

The Reykjavik Summit:

A meeting between President Ronald Regan and Soviet General Secretary Mikhail  Gorbachev in the Icelandic capital, this summit marked one of the first meetings between the US and the USSR to discuss banning ballistic missiles. While the meeting didn't accomplish its intended goals, it did show each side that the other was willing to make concessions, and forced future history teachers to reconsider the "spelling counts" rule on tests.

Douglas MacArthur and Emperor Hirohito:

Taking place September 27, 1945 after the end of World War II, this meeting was between the head of the American occupation force and the Japanese Emperor. During the meeting, MacArthur explained to the emperor how Japan was going to be run in the future, and how the emperor's role was going to be diminished. Accepting the terms, Hirohito bowed to MacArthur's authority, marking the first time a Japanese emperor had bowed to a foreign national. It also marked the beginning of the stereotype that all Japanese people are short.

And now MacArthur feels like a giant

Paris Peace Conference:

Taking place in 1919, this conference looked to clean up the mess World War I left behind. Dominated by the British and French, the conference alienated victorious countries like America and Japan, and severely punished Germany, like they were the ONLY ones who wanted the war. It is generally agreed that this entire conference was butchered, and set the stage for the Second World War. So, all things considered, one of Britain and France's more accomplished moments!

And just like that, you have some of the most important meetings in history. Maybe they weren't all earth shattering, but I think it's proof that sometimes, meetings are just as crucial to the order of events as battle. Although fought with a pen and not a sword, these meetings had huge implications on the course of human history, and demonstrate the power diplomacy can have, both good and bad.









Cleveland Rocks! A History of Cleveland

Today, I want to look at the history of one of America's oldest big cities, the City of Cleveland, Ohio.

"That's me!"

Well hello, Cleveland! So glad you could join us today!

"Meh. I didn't have anything better to do"

Is that because there's nothing to do in your city?

 

 "OUCH! I think I walked right into that one!"

Oh, Cleveland. People can't help but love you. I don't even know why. You're not the greatest city. Hell, at times, you're even downright depressing.

 

 "Hey! I thought this was supposed to be a positive post!"

I'm getting there! Anyway, for some reason you find your way into the hearts of anyone who has the privilege of getting to know you. Kind of like a sick kitten.

"Too. Much. Too drink. Blah!"

 "I feel like that's a back-handed compliment"

Well, I guess it is. But make no mistake, Cleveland is worthy of praise, not the bum rap it's received over the years. Hell, most people call it "The Mistake on the Lake"

The popular image of Cleveland

Mistake on the Lake! Indeed! Cleveland is actually a great town, one with a rich, storied history. A history which we will explore today in further detail.

 "Why do I have the feeling this is going to be painful?"

You read my Wyoming post, didn't you? Well, like Wyoming, it's your turn to step into the lime-light on this blog. So here we go; the history of the city of Cleveland!
 

July 22, 1796:

Cleveland is founded by Revolutionary War hero Moses Cleaveland on the shores of Lake Erie in the Western Reserve of Connecticut. His traveling companions applaud his plans for the new city. They marvel at the design for the public square, are excited by the possibility of a thriving port on the lake, and hopeful that the new city will be a worthwhile economic venture. Remember everyone, hindsight is 20/20.

December 23, 1814:

The Village of Cleaveland is officially incorporated. The settlers decide to name the city Cleaveland, after their founder, who sadly never returned to the village he founded. This is presumably because he had already been to Cleaveland, and actually possessing mental facilities, had no desire to return.

The glorious founder

1831:

The city's name is changed from Cleaveland to Cleveland when the Cleveland Advertiser decides to drop a letter in order for the paper's name to fit in the heading. No, this is not a joke. That's seriously why the city is called Cleveland!

1832:

The Ohio and Erie Canal is completed, turning Cleveland into a key link between the Ohio River and the Great Lakes. This causes the city to boom, and industry in the city begins to take off. Cleveland is heralded by the media outlets in New York as one of the country's emerging cities. It has long been debated as to which is more shocking: Cleveland being called an emerging city, or media outlets in New York acknowledging that people actually live in Ohio.

1895:

Robert McKisson is elected mayor of Cleveland. He immediately sets out to bolster Cleveland's sanitation systems, stating that he wants to ensure Cleveland remains the cleanest city in America and........why is everyone laughing?

 

August 5, 1914:

The City of Cleveland installs the first traffic light at the corner of Euclid and 105th. If you've ever driven in Northeast Ohio, you know exactly why a system had to be developed to specifically tell drivers when and when not to enter the intersection.

May 1, 1919:

Socialist riots break out in the city. This is still remembered as the worst tragedy to ever befall the city outside of having to be Cleveland.

June 28, 1930:

The Terminal Tower, built by the Van Sweringen brothers, is opened in downtown Cleveland. The completed tower stands 52 stories and dominates the skyline of the city. Until 1967, it was the tallest building in the world outside New York, at which point builders in about half a dozen cities seemed to wonder at once "why the heck is the tallest building outside New York in Cleveland?"

Terminal Tower in all its glory!

December 1935:

Amid the height of the depression, with crime in the city skyrocketing, famed crime fighter Eliot Ness is named Director for Public Safety in Cleveland. Due to the fact hat Cleveland is a bastion of crime, Ness has a hard time cleaning the city up, and, in true Cleveland fashion, prays daily to be relocated to Baltimore.

1948:

The Cleveland Indians win their second World Series title. The team builds tall flagpoles at Municipal Stadium to hold all the pennants they, and the new NFL team, the Browns, will no doubt win in the next few seasons.

1962:

Cleveland experiences a decline in population, as the new expressways allow people to live in the suburbs and work in the city. Downtown becomes a black hole, and is immediately named "The nicest spot in Cleveland: 1962"

June 22, 1969:

Clevelanders sure love to party! In fact, the city, anxious for the city's 173 birthday, set the Cuyahoga River on fire! Unfortunately, bad press leads most people to believe pollution was the cause of the blaze. Some people just don't get Cleveland's sense of fun!

1986-Present:
Cleveland bounces back from its long recession. New buildings are built downtown, including skyscrapers, stadiums, hospitals, and museums. Cleveland is called the "Comeback City", and hopes for a bright future abound. Clevelanders are proud of their city's progress, and have a new found joy: They too now have the right to make fun of Detroit!

So, there you have it. A brief history of the city of Cleveland. Now that wasn't so bad was it?

 "I guess not. You're right, I really do rock!"

 

Yes, yes you do. And today, you are 217!

 "Happy birthday to me!"

1st Battle of Bull Run/Manassas

Today, I am going to take a look at the first major battle of American Civil War, the battle of 1st Bull Run!

"Manassas!"

Alright then. The 1st Battle of Manassas........

"Bull Run!"

Oh boy. This could get ugly.......

"Manassas!!"

"Bull Run!!"

"MANASSAS!!!"

"BULL RUN!!!"

BOOM!

BOOM!

Alright, so while those little guys are settling their differences, I should probably explain something. As we well know, the North and South couldn't agree on anything. They couldn't agree on slavery, they couldn't agree on states rights, and they couldn't agree on what to call things. The North liked to name battles after the nearest body of water, while the South preferred naming battles after the nearest city. So Bull Run in the North was Manassas in the South. Wilson's Creek in the North was Springfield in the South. Antietam in the North was Sharpsburg in the South. Stones River in the North was Murfreesboro in the South. And General Sherman in the North was $#^@ *@#% in the South.

He will give you nightmares

"EEK!"

Yes. General Sherman even scared many northerners. But that's not the point of this post, so let us move on to the Battle of 1st Bull Run/Manassas. The Civil War was still in its early stages going into the battle. 11 southern states had already seceded from the Union, and President Lincoln was worried others, namely Kentucky and Maryland, would join the Confederacy. To make matters worse for Ol' Honest Abe, the Confederates had begun amassing an army at the Manassas railroad junction, not twenty miles from Washington D.C. Lincoln felt he had to end the rebellion as soon as possible, so he looked towards his best general to crush the rebels.

Not being able to find one, he settled on General Irvin McDowell.

"But hey, at least I have a cool beard!"

While McDowell indeed had cool facial hair, he had zero experience in combat. Still, with no other viable options, McDowell was given command of the Army of Northeastern Virginia and tasked with the challenge of ridding northern Virginia of the Confederate forces.

On July 16th, 1861, McDowell and his army began their march to Manassas, with the specific goal of destroying the enemy. McDowell had his doubts. He knew his army was unprepared for battle. Most of the soldiers in his ranks were volunteers, not true soldiers. He wanted more time to train, and appealed to Lincoln to postpone action. Lincoln, impatient as a two year old waiting in line at a toy store, informed McDowell that the Confederates had the same handicap, and he better not use the readiness of the army as an excuse to delay action; there were plenty of other unqualified officers in line to run the army if McDowell wasn't up for the task. Reluctantly, McDowell did as he was told. He couldn't afford his facial hair products on a colonel's salary.

McDowell's first contact with the Confederates came on July 19th at the Battle of Blackburn's Ford. Now, the obvious question is why did this Blackburn fellow leave his car parked in the middle of the battle field........

(Sound of crickets chirping)

Ok, I'm going to ask everyone to erase the last ten seconds and that bad joke from their memories. Any way, Blackburn's Ford was a relatively small affair. McDowell's men attacked Confederate forces under General Pierre Gustav Toutant Beauregard along Bull Run. 

Pierre Gustav Toutant Beauregard. The pride of Louisiana

Pierre Gustav Toutant Beauregard's men were easily able to repel the Union. But Pierre Gustav Toutant Beauregard was still worried. He knew McDowell had thousands of soldiers in reserve, and his army could be overwhelmed in the coming battle. Needing more soldiers, he sent a message to General Joseph Eggleston Johnston calling for backup in the form of the Army of the Shenandoah. Heeding the call, Joseph EggMcMuffin Johnston assembled his army and moved east (via rail) to assist Pierre Gustav Toutant Beauregard. The question was, would Joseph Eggland'sbest Johnston get there in time? The entire outcome of the battle was riding on the answer to that question.

Over the next two days, no fighting occurred between the two armies. Working on perfecting his beard, McDowell decided not to attack Pierre Gustav Toutant Beauregard, allowing Joseph Eggsbenedict Johnston time to move his entire army to Manassas. 

"Heeeeeeeere's Joey!"

This blunder resulted in an oddity in Civil War battles; the Confederates and Union actually had the same number of troops!

That's right. While McDowell originally had more than a 10,000 soldier advantage, the arrival of Joseph Eggnog Johnston gave the Confederates an equal force to their Union counterparts. So going in to the battle, the two armies were on level ground. Neither side had any advantage to fall back on. The better army would win!

The Battle of 1st Manassas/Bull Run began early in the morning on July 21st. McDowell sent two divisions, totaling around 20,000 soldiers, to attack the left flank of the Confederate army on Matthews Hill. Under intense fire, the Confederates attempted to hold their ground. The onslaught, however, was too intense for the Confederates. After fighting on Matthew's Hill for a few hours, the Confederates were forced to withdraw across Bull Run to Henry House Hill, where they regrouped and were bolstered by reinforcements. Sensing the opportunity for victory, the Union pursed the Confederates, and kept the battle going.

For quite some time, it looked as though the Union army would end the rebellion before it even began. On Henry House Hill, they began decimating the Confederates. One general, Bernard (Bumble) Bee, grew agitated at his comrades, specifically one gent who remained atop the hill, allowing BumbleBee's men a chance to get slaughtered. That man was General Thomas J. Jackson.

"Yikes!"

Yes, he too is quite scary. Any way, Jackson kept his entire brigade in reserve while Bumble's men were taking a beating. Looking to Jackson, our Humble Bumble yelled out "There stands Jackson like a Stonewall!" Despite Bumble's request for Jackson to join the fray, Jackson kept his troops in reserve till just the right time.........

And then he struck! He led his entire brigade to counter-attack the advancing Union army. Unprepared for the assault, the Union line crumbled. Being an army of only new recruits, the Union didn't just retreat; they ran! They ran all the way from Manassas back to Washington, D.C. The retreat was total chaos, and soldiers literally dropped their rifles  and equipment in order to run faster. Thus ended the Battle of 1st Manassas/Bull Run.

In the aftermath of the battle, both Pierre Gustav Toutant Beauregard and Joseph Eggroll Johnston received praise from the Confederate government, and Jackson earned the nickname "Stonewall", a nickname by which he is known even to this day. McDowell and his awesome beard were relieved of command, and Lincoln was shown that the Confederates were not going anywhere. The war was going to be longer than Lincoln, or anybody for that matter, could have anticipated. And many of the war's great generals, including Jackson, Sherman, and Longstreet, experienced Civil War combat for the first time. 

In the grand scheme of things, this battle was not that big. The fighting was restricted to a few specific areas, and the casualties were small compared to Gettysburg, Chickamauga, Antietam, and many others. But because it was the first, it will always be noteworthy. This battle was fought 152 years ago this weekend.

"Yay! We win!"

"Humph! I don't like this battle!"

Don't worry, my adorable little Billy Yank. You'll get the last laugh in this war

"Hehehe!"

"How's that?!"

P.S. Many people have argued that Bumble's comment about Jackson was flattering. Which was it? We'll never know. The Bumble was shot and killed a few minutes after he made this famous declaration.

P.P.S. Stonewall Jackson had a cousin nicknamed Mudwall. 

P.P.P.S. During the battle, Wilmer McLean's property was destroyed. He moved south to the city of Appomattox Courthouse to get away from the war. Four years later, Gen. Lee and Gen. Grant met at his house to end the war. Following the ceremony, his house was ransacked for souvenirs.

P.P.P.P.S. During the battle, many prominent figures in Washington made the journey to the battlefield to watch. When the Union were routed, many of them were captured by the Confederates and held for ransom.

P.P.P.P.P.S. There was also a second battle of Manassas/Bull Run in 1862. Unfortunately, like so many sequels, it wasn't as good as the first.