Cleveland Rocks! A History of Cleveland

Today, I want to look at the history of one of America's oldest big cities, the City of Cleveland, Ohio.

"That's me!"

Well hello, Cleveland! So glad you could join us today!

"Meh. I didn't have anything better to do"

Is that because there's nothing to do in your city?

 

 "OUCH! I think I walked right into that one!"

Oh, Cleveland. People can't help but love you. I don't even know why. You're not the greatest city. Hell, at times, you're even downright depressing.

 

 "Hey! I thought this was supposed to be a positive post!"

I'm getting there! Anyway, for some reason you find your way into the hearts of anyone who has the privilege of getting to know you. Kind of like a sick kitten.

"Too. Much. Too drink. Blah!"

 "I feel like that's a back-handed compliment"

Well, I guess it is. But make no mistake, Cleveland is worthy of praise, not the bum rap it's received over the years. Hell, most people call it "The Mistake on the Lake"

The popular image of Cleveland

Mistake on the Lake! Indeed! Cleveland is actually a great town, one with a rich, storied history. A history which we will explore today in further detail.

 "Why do I have the feeling this is going to be painful?"

You read my Wyoming post, didn't you? Well, like Wyoming, it's your turn to step into the lime-light on this blog. So here we go; the history of the city of Cleveland!
 

July 22, 1796:

Cleveland is founded by Revolutionary War hero Moses Cleaveland on the shores of Lake Erie in the Western Reserve of Connecticut. His traveling companions applaud his plans for the new city. They marvel at the design for the public square, are excited by the possibility of a thriving port on the lake, and hopeful that the new city will be a worthwhile economic venture. Remember everyone, hindsight is 20/20.

December 23, 1814:

The Village of Cleaveland is officially incorporated. The settlers decide to name the city Cleaveland, after their founder, who sadly never returned to the village he founded. This is presumably because he had already been to Cleaveland, and actually possessing mental facilities, had no desire to return.

The glorious founder

1831:

The city's name is changed from Cleaveland to Cleveland when the Cleveland Advertiser decides to drop a letter in order for the paper's name to fit in the heading. No, this is not a joke. That's seriously why the city is called Cleveland!

1832:

The Ohio and Erie Canal is completed, turning Cleveland into a key link between the Ohio River and the Great Lakes. This causes the city to boom, and industry in the city begins to take off. Cleveland is heralded by the media outlets in New York as one of the country's emerging cities. It has long been debated as to which is more shocking: Cleveland being called an emerging city, or media outlets in New York acknowledging that people actually live in Ohio.

1895:

Robert McKisson is elected mayor of Cleveland. He immediately sets out to bolster Cleveland's sanitation systems, stating that he wants to ensure Cleveland remains the cleanest city in America and........why is everyone laughing?

 

August 5, 1914:

The City of Cleveland installs the first traffic light at the corner of Euclid and 105th. If you've ever driven in Northeast Ohio, you know exactly why a system had to be developed to specifically tell drivers when and when not to enter the intersection.

May 1, 1919:

Socialist riots break out in the city. This is still remembered as the worst tragedy to ever befall the city outside of having to be Cleveland.

June 28, 1930:

The Terminal Tower, built by the Van Sweringen brothers, is opened in downtown Cleveland. The completed tower stands 52 stories and dominates the skyline of the city. Until 1967, it was the tallest building in the world outside New York, at which point builders in about half a dozen cities seemed to wonder at once "why the heck is the tallest building outside New York in Cleveland?"

Terminal Tower in all its glory!

December 1935:

Amid the height of the depression, with crime in the city skyrocketing, famed crime fighter Eliot Ness is named Director for Public Safety in Cleveland. Due to the fact hat Cleveland is a bastion of crime, Ness has a hard time cleaning the city up, and, in true Cleveland fashion, prays daily to be relocated to Baltimore.

1948:

The Cleveland Indians win their second World Series title. The team builds tall flagpoles at Municipal Stadium to hold all the pennants they, and the new NFL team, the Browns, will no doubt win in the next few seasons.

1962:

Cleveland experiences a decline in population, as the new expressways allow people to live in the suburbs and work in the city. Downtown becomes a black hole, and is immediately named "The nicest spot in Cleveland: 1962"

June 22, 1969:

Clevelanders sure love to party! In fact, the city, anxious for the city's 173 birthday, set the Cuyahoga River on fire! Unfortunately, bad press leads most people to believe pollution was the cause of the blaze. Some people just don't get Cleveland's sense of fun!

1986-Present:
Cleveland bounces back from its long recession. New buildings are built downtown, including skyscrapers, stadiums, hospitals, and museums. Cleveland is called the "Comeback City", and hopes for a bright future abound. Clevelanders are proud of their city's progress, and have a new found joy: They too now have the right to make fun of Detroit!

So, there you have it. A brief history of the city of Cleveland. Now that wasn't so bad was it?

 "I guess not. You're right, I really do rock!"

 

Yes, yes you do. And today, you are 217!

 "Happy birthday to me!"